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Don’t just make it rain at the strip club – make it tropical storm – with this quick dispensing cash cannon! Built for speed and performance, this baby will shoot your entire life savings all over the dance floor in record time as you make the worst decision of your life!

If you’ve got a tight butthole, then you need to get yourself a bear coat. This amazing bear coat is styled after the glorious coat worn by Blake from Workaholics, giving you a straight grizzly look while also keeping you warm during long hours in that cold cubicle space.

Hard drugs just became obsolete – introducing the world’s strongest coffee. Perfect for those extra busy days, this powerful roast is 200% stronger than regular blends and can keep you up for 3 days straight, as long as you don’t mind the occasional heart attack.

Add some color and whimsy to your home with these nostalgic arcade style light switches. These arcade light switches are great for game rooms or kids rooms, but look especially great in your parents basement that you still live in at the disturbing age of 38.

Solve your fly problem once and for all with the salt firing shotgun. The shotgun works with regular table salt and holds up to 50 rounds so that you can annihilate every pesky house fly in one murderous evening. It also works great for violently seasoning your food!

Be prepared for anything the world throws your way with the tactical self defense pen in your pocket. Apart from its patented waterproof ink, the pen features a glass breaker, handcuff key, and even a self defense tool that collects an attacker’s DNA sample.

Fix that unruly disaster in the morning you call hair in just seconds with the morning head hair cap. This revolutionary hair cap will give you that “just showered” hair style, without having to dunk your head under a sink. Ask someone to give you morning head today!

Diamonds are rare, but not compared to meteorite or dinosaur bone. When you’re really looking to impress your significant other, nothing will demonstrate your love and commitment quite like the meteorite and dinosaur bone ring.

Life is too short to spend sober – that’s why the Ultimate Party Travel Guide is here to show you the best party spots on the planet. From pub crawls to beach parties, the guide shows you over 100 of the world’s best places to get completely wasted.

Keep your valuables hidden where nobody would want to look with the stained underwear wallet. These doo-doo stained tighty whiteys will allow you to keep your valuables in plain sight, and are great for ensuring your stuff is left alone by security while traveling by plane.

With the netted cocooon hammock you can hang out in your backyard or in the wilderness without having mosquitoes invade your quiet personal space. The netted hammock features a mesh canopy that lets fresh air breeze through while filtering out annoying insects.

Roast your plump weenie to perfection in the funniest way possible with this anatomically correct hot dog cooker made from stainless steel. The statue will not only entertain guests, but will also allow you to get a slow cook on the hot dogs as they hover above the grill.

Teach your kids how to draw in between the lines and also avoid being a mark ass bitch with these gangsta rap coloring books. Fun for the whole family, these coloring books feature 48 pages of music icons from the gangsta rap genre such as Biggie, Eazy E, and many others.

Take all the hard work out of cleaning your gutters with the iRobot Looj gutter cleaner. This gutter cleaning robot is easy to set up, just place it in your gutters, remove the forty foot range remote control, and let it the robot do all the dirty gutter work for you.

Want to watch TV from the couch and eat at the same time? Want to use your laptop while sitting without heating your crotch to Mordor like levels? The lift out coffee table is here to help, with it’s spring assisted transformation mechanism to lift up and out with ease.

Going green just got even easier. This grass charging station is a fun twist on the popular charging stations you see available to recharge your electronic devices – cellphone, cameras, ipods, etc. – without having any exposed power cords.

Work on your stroke while you do work on the porcelain throne with this mini-golf putting game. Perfect for any size bathroom, the toilet mini-golf game is a great gift idea for the golfing enthusiast and comes with a putting green, two balls, and a mini putter.

Race to the finish line of inebriation with this Ice Luge drinking mold. The Ice Luge mold allows you to easily create your own block of ice that you pour alcohol down while your fellow alcoholic enabling buddies drink the chilled nectar from the Ice Luge.

This effortlessly stylish shirt should be in every movie buff’s wardrobe. Available as either a t-shirt, v-neck, or tank top, it sports a vibrant vintage-style graphic depicting the iconic DeLorean along with the phrase “Marty, whatever happens, don’t ever go to 2020.”

The Stinger Whip emergency car tool should be in every motorist’s glovebox. It comes with a razor sharp seat belt cutter along with an 18″ steel cable, a hardened steel hammer for breaking windows, and an ergonomic handle so that you can wield it with confidence.

Protect your home and family without the possibility of ending someone’s life by using the non-lethal Salt self defense gun kit. Instead of traditional ammo, it fires bullet-sized pepper spray capsules designed to release a toxin that immediately incapacitates your target.

The Testicuzzi is the perfect gift for the man that cares about his testicle’s hap-penis. The Testicuzzi features an ultra-soft pre-cast silicone pillow to rest your largest member on, a deep reservoir to dunk the junk into, and battery-powered bubbles.

Keep Alexa on-hand – literally – by slipping the Amazon Alexa smart ring on your finger. This sleek and understated ring makes daily life easier by allowing you to do everything from setting reminders and making quick calculations to placing calls.

Become the sexual stallion you’ve always dreamed of being by keeping your Johnson in top form with The Willy Exerciser. It measures approximately 4.9″ x 1.4″ x 1.8″ and is crafted from metal and plastic. A must-have piece for any sexually active male.

Convert friends and family into LEGO form using this personalized 3D printing service. Simply submit two photos of the recipient – and their likeness will be eerily recreated onto a 15mm head using sophisticated full-color 3D printers.

Being hung like a horse is a curse few understand. Learn how to cope with your gargantuan gonzo with this helpful guide. It comes filled with prayers, daily affirmations, and thoughtful quotes to help manage day-to-day life with your magnum dong.

Let your well endowed better half know just how much you appreciate his generously proportioned body with this “I Love You for Your Personality” candle. It’s available a 6 oz, 9 oz, and 16 oz size and can be customized with one of dozens of delightful scents.

This holiday season give “the gift of nothing” to those who truly deserve it. Whether it’s a former lover, an evil boss, or just a spoiled little brat child, the gift of nothing will show how much you care and how much effort you’ve put into giving them something really special.

Themed boxes for guys that give a damn, delivered monthly. They’re packed with seriously high-quality, seriously unique goods that add up to way more than $45 – in fact, they’re always worth at least $70, and usually quite a bit more.

Make your already frosty brew even more refreshing by topping it off using the beer slushie machine. An ideal purchase for the beer enthusiast who has everything, the machine complements your beer with a flavorful layer of thick and creamy frosting of booze.

Chill a room temperature canned drink in just 60 seconds using this compact automatic beverage chiller. Simply add a bit of ice, place the can in the main compartment, and watch in amazement as this battery operated appliance cools your drink in 1 minute flat.

Enjoy mouthwateringly good meals on the regular by preparing them with the Can Cooker. The Can Cooker utilizes steam to create natural convection that will slow-cook your meal in a fraction of the time. It’s also highly portable, making it ideal for camping trips.